Encountering Love at First Sight in a Parents’ Matchmaking Group
Volunteering for a well-known Chinese-American WeChat matchmaking platform in North America, the most gratifying aspect is hearing parents share the joyful news of their children successfully finding love. According to incomplete statistics, on the first day of December alone, the platform received news of five families successfully finding partners, getting engaged, or getting married through various channels.
Recently, a story shared by a mother about her daughter’s experience on the platform was particularly uplifting. Her daughter and another member’s son in the group unexpectedly fell in love at first sight!
Here is the story shared by the girl’s mother. For convenience, the story is narrated in the first person by the girl’s mother (Note: To protect the privacy of parents and children, some highly personal details have been omitted or adjusted).
~ A Small Name Tag Leads to Remarkable Results ~
It all started with a small group name tag (group ID or nickname)! When I first joined the group, I saw the volunteers tirelessly urging newly joining parents to update their group name tags according to a standardized format, and I thought it was a bit of an overreaction. After all, isn’t a group name tag just meant for parents to recognize each other?
Later, I gradually understood the brilliance of the name tag format designed by the group management team. In just 20 characters, it covers essential “hard” information such as gender, location, age, height, education, graduation year, occupation, and even parents’ location. If these aspects roughly match expectations, then this information is sufficient as a starting point for “knocking on the window” (private messaging the other parent). If everyone uses a uniform group name tag format, it will certainly be more conducive for parents to find potential in-laws they are interested in!
I embarked on a wonderful journey because a “prospective in-law” reached out based on my ID information.
~ Parents Acting as Matchmakers and Bridge Builders ~
After adding the other parent on WeChat, both sides exchanged brief texts and a few recent photos of their children to share their overall backgrounds. In addition to the information already on the group name tag, they also emphasized the children’s personalities, interests, relationship expectations, and general family situations.
Coincidentally, both the other parent and I felt that the other child was basically on par with our expectations. There’s hope! So, we chatted a few more times on WeChat, mainly exchanging some parenting philosophies and stories from our children’s childhood and student days, thereby gaining a better understanding of each other’s children’s character traits and family upbringing. After a few conversations, our impressions of each other’s children remained very positive.
At this point, I mentioned this to my daughter, saying that there is a boy with a decent background who seems quite suitable for you in many ways. Would you like mom to learn more about him, maybe you two can meet up?
My daughter is an ABC (American-born Chinese) who grew up and was raised in the United States and has been very independent since childhood. I remember earlier when I mentioned to her that I had joined an American Chinese elite matchmaking platform, and if she was interested, I could introduce her to potential matches, she didn’t seem particularly enthusiastic. I think she might be like many ABC kids who probably think this method isn’t very reliable, but out of courtesy, she didn’t want to reject me outright, so she remained noncommittal. At that time, I told her that “if I see someone who seems suitable and has potential, I will send her a message and make an introduction. I can’t help with anything else, it’s all up to you, and the decision is entirely yours.”
I had also previously mentioned to her about two other promising boys I saw in the group, but she didn’t react much, leaving this mom feeling a bit disappointed. Of course, I also took the opportunity to talk to her at a suitable time and find out what aspects were truly important to her. Through parent-child communication, I also gained a better understanding of the image of her ideal partner in her mind.
So, this time, I was somewhat mentally prepared, and boldly mentioned it to my daughter, even if it meant risking being disappointed again. Luckily, this time my daughter responded positively, saying she was willing to meet, “It would be nice to make friends with an excellent boy.” The other parent and I discussed how to “naturally” arrange for the children to meet. As it turned out, the two children had overlapping majors at college, so we thought of arranging for them to meet under the guise of discussing their profession.
Then the two mothers exchanged their children’s email addresses and names, and agreed to let the children arrange the time and place to meet through email.
~ Their First Meeting ~
The first meeting between my daughter and the boy was scheduled at a coffee shop in the city, about two to three weeks after the mothers exchanged their children’s email information. It wasn’t scheduled earlier because the children lived at opposite ends of a major city, and there was some distance, and their work and daily schedules were very busy. My daughter only told me about these circumstances later.
During this time, I also tried to ask my daughter if she had set a time and place to meet with the boy, but she just told me, “Mom, don’t worry, we’ll handle it ourselves.” Until now, I still don’t know who initiated the first meeting, but I trust that the grown-up children will take care of it themselves.
According to my daughter, she and the boy hit it off immediately and talked about their work, life, dreams, and everything else. They chatted for several hours without realizing that the original plan was just to meet for an hour. What’s even more interesting is that neither of them mentioned the “professional questions” they had originally planned to discuss during the meeting!
~ Waiting for the Flowers to Bloom ~
Since learning that the children had met and had a good impression of each other (the first meeting significantly exceeded the scheduled time, which is a good sign), both mothers were delighted and couldn’t help but wonder if the children had made plans for the next meeting or what the next steps were. But both children remained tight-lipped.
So the two mothers could only occasionally inquire of each other, “Have you heard any news?”
Fortunately, both mothers were very clear about the boundaries of their role as parents in this process: they passed on information, made introductions, built bridges, and exchanged email addresses, and their parental duties were basically fulfilled. Respecting and trusting the children, and not putting any pressure on them, are the bottom lines that parents must adhere to. After all, this is the children’s own life, their own emotions, and their own feelings.
~ Together, They Embrace the Future ~
Several months later, good news finally arrived. One morning, when I opened my phone, I saw a message from my daughter, just a few words: “Thank you, mom, for introducing me to such an excellent boy! He fits my preferences in many ways!!!”
WOW!
According to my daughter, they liked each other from their first meeting. As they got to know each other better over the months, they felt their feelings deepening. They shared many hobbies, such as gourmet food, outdoor sports, travel, music, and both had been playing the piano for over a decade. Whenever they sat down at the piano bench and opened the music score, they could play together hand in hand, harmonizing perfectly.
They both also loved their work. When they traveled together, they often worked separately for most of the day before holding hands and going out to have fun. Work hard, play hard.
Grateful for the encounters in life: Happiness comes a bit unexpectedly.
It is often said that parents are children’s first teachers and benefactors. I never thought that in my child’s life, I would also play another role: (half of) a matchmaker. When I joined the matchmaking group, it was just a casual attempt, and at first, I had no idea whether my daughter would accept my matchmaking attempts.
All I can say is, life’s journey is so wonderful. Every trip, every encounter, may lead to fate. But you have to be brave enough to try.
For me, at this moment, amidst the joy, there is more gratitude. Grateful to the boy’s mother for bravely reaching out and taking the crucial first step!
Grateful for the children to have an open mindset and understand the care and love of their parents!
Even more grateful for the nonprofit matchmaking platform for Chinese-American alumni from select universities in the United States. Through the selfless dedication of hundreds of volunteers and the excellent work and love of the group management team, it has woven a huge network of matchmaking for thousands of Chinese-American families in North America (including international student families), providing such a great opportunity for children to find their happiness.
My daughter is outstanding in appearance and intelligence, and since college, she has had no shortage of suitors. But without this platform, it would have been difficult for her to meet a boyfriend who matches her in so many aspects within her daily life circle—the white horse prince in her mind.
So, it is no exaggeration to say that the matchmaking platform for Chinese-American alumni from select universities in the United States is the true “matchmaker” for my daughter. 💕
— It is truly an incredibly heartwarming and touching story! The mother of the girl spoke with emotion, and the volunteers listened with great interest! Such a pure and beautiful love story happened right in our platform!
The matchmaking platform for Chinese-American alumni from select universities in the United States has been established and developed for nearly two years, continuously improving its services, expanding its matchmaking resources, and recently successfully collaborating with friendly groups, further expanding its matchmaking resources. In particular, the platform’s distinctive “local matchmaking” area group series, city group series, as well as online activities and in-person meetups for children, have greatly improved the efficiency, experience, and safety of matchmaking processes.
As the New Year approaches, let us work together, looking forward to and listening to more voices of blooming flowers!
The matchmaking platform for Chinese-American alumni from select universities in the United States is a nonprofit matchmaking platform, which helps children find good matches by parents’ sincere communication in WeChat groups and their encouragement for children to participate in localized club activities in various locations. The platform consists of three major matchmaking group series, covering a broad Chinese American community.
Interested parents who want to join the platform to help their children find matches can contact volunteers or parents already in the group for help joining. Parents can also scan the QR code provided in the text.
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在父母相亲群，遭遇一见钟情
在北美一个小有名气的华裔微信相亲平台做义工，最让我们感到欣慰的莫过于听到家长们报告孩子成功牵手的喜报。据不完全统计，仅十二月第一天，平台就收到了五个家庭通过各种途径成功寻缘，定婚，结婚的好消息。
最近有一位女孩妈妈给义工分享的故事更让人振奋。她女儿与群里一位妈妈的儿子通过本平台相识，家长们都没想到， 两个孩子竟一见钟情！
以下就是这位女孩妈妈分享的经历。方便起见，故事用女孩妈第一人称叙述（注：为保护家长和孩子隐私，部分非常个人化的故事内容有删减或调整）。
~小小名片立奇功~
这一切竟是从小小的群名片(群内ID或昵称) 开始的！刚入群时，看到义工们不厌其烦地催促新入群家长按照统一格式更新群内名片， 还觉得有那么一点儿小题大作。群名片嘛，难道不是只要家长间能互相识别就好？
后来才慢慢明白了群管团队设计的名片格式的精妙。短短20来个字符，把性别，地点，年龄，身高，学历及毕业年份，职业，乃至父母所在地等重要“硬件”信息”一网打尽”：如果这些方面大致能与期望值对上，那么这些信息足以作为“敲窗” （加对方家长私聊) 的一个起点。如果大家都采用一个统一的群名片格式，当然会更有利于家长们找到感兴趣的潜在亲家！
我就是因为“准亲家”根据ID信息来敲窗而开始了一段奇妙的旅程。
~父母牵线又搭桥~
与男孩妈妈加私聊后，双方在微信上通过一小段文字和几张近照交换了孩子的大致背景情况。除了群名片上已有的信息之外，还着重提到了孩子性格，兴趣爱好，寻缘期望，以及大致家庭情况。
巧的是，男孩妈妈和我都觉得对方基本在自己孩子期望的点上。有希望！于是大家又在微信上聊了几次，主要是交流了一些家庭教育的理念以及孩子儿时及学生时代的一些故事， 从而对对方孩子的性格特质以及家庭的成长环境有了更多更好的了解。聊了几次后，大家对对方的印象还是一如既往的好。
这个时候我就对女儿提到这个事，说有个男孩，背景挺不错，很多方面看着与你似乎挺合适，你要不要妈妈去更多了解一下，也许你们可以约着见个面？
女儿是美国生、美国长的ABC，从小非常独立。记得早先我给她提起我加入了一个美国华裔名校相亲平台，如看到合适的男孩可以给她牵线时，她基本不置可否。我想她可能与很多ABC孩子一样，一定是觉得这种方式不怎么靠谱，但碍于情面不想驳妈妈面子，也就模棱两可。我当时就给她说，妈妈如果看到比较合适的，有潜力的，才会给你传一个信息，搭个桥。其它的忙我帮不上，全靠你自己，主意也全得你自己拿。
之前我也给女儿说起过群里看到的另两个不错的男生，她都没啥反应，让俺这个老妈”碰了一鼻子灰”。当然之后我也找合适时间与她交谈，了解到哪些是她真正看重的点。在亲子交流中，我也更加了解了女儿心目中的那个白马王子的样子。
所以这一次我也算是有点心理准备，厚着脸皮给女儿提一下，大不了老妈再“碰一鼻子灰”。幸运的是，这一次女儿非常正面地回应了，说愿意见面，“优秀的男生能交个朋友也挺好的”。男孩妈妈和我商量怎么能“很自然地”让孩子们见个面。正好两个孩子专业有交集，我们就想到了让他们以探讨专业的名义碰头。
于是两个妈妈交换了孩子的电邮以及名字，约好让孩子们自己通过电邮去联系见面的时间、地点。
～她和他的第一次相遇～
女儿和男孩的第一次见面约在一个市内的咖啡馆， 大约是在两个妈妈交换孩子电邮信息两三周之后。没有约得更早是因为两个孩子的住地在一个大城市的两端，有那么点儿距离，而孩子们平时工作和生活日程都非常忙。这些情况都是女儿后来才告诉我的。
期间我也试图向女儿打听是否与男孩定下了见面地点及时间，她只告诉我，妈妈别担心，我们自己会处理好。到现在我也不知道第一次见面到底是谁先约的谁，只是相信已长大的孩子们自己会打理好。
据女儿后来说，她与男生一见如故，聊了很多自己的工作，生活，理想，方方面面，不知不觉一聊几小时，忘了本来约的只是一小时见面时间。更有意思的是，两人本来约好了见面去探讨的“专业问题”被两人忘得一干二净，竟然没有一个人提起！
~静待花开的声音~
自从知道孩子们已见过面，印象还不错(首次约会大幅超时交谈是个好苗头)，两位妈妈都很开心，禁不住都想知道孩子们是否约了下次见面或者下一步计划是什么。但是两个孩子都守口如瓶。
所以两位妈妈只能时不时相互打听： 你听到啥消息吗？
好在两位妈妈都特别清楚父母这个角色在这个过程中的边界：传了信息，牵了线，搭了桥，也互换了电邮号，父母的任务就算基本完成。充分尊重孩子们，信任孩子们，不给孩子任何压力是为人父母必须坚守的底线。毕竟，这是孩子们自己的人生，自己的生活，自己的感情。
~双奔共赴山海盟~
几个月之后，好消息终于来了。
有一天早上起来打开手机，看到女儿发来的一条消息，短短几句话：“感谢妈妈帮我介绍了这么优秀的男生！很多方面都在我喜欢的点上！！！”。
WOW！
据女儿说，初次见面，她与男生就已相互喜欢对方。几个月交往下来，随着相知越深，越来越觉得感情加深。两人连很多爱好都相同，比如美食，户外运动，旅行，音乐等，还都练过十来年钢琴。在琴凳上一坐下来，翻开曲谱，两人就可以连手合奏， 琴瑟和鸣。
两人也都热爱自己的工作。一起出行时，经常是先各自工作大半天，然后才牵手出去玩。Work hard, play hard.
感恩人生之遇见，
幸福来得有点突然。
人常说父母是孩子的第一个老师，也是第一个贵人。
我从未想过，在孩子的人生中我还会担任另一个角色：（半个）红娘。当初加入相亲群也不过是带着试试看的佛系心态，而刚开始时对女儿是否愿意接受妈妈的牵线也毫无把握。
只能说，人生旅程太奇妙。每一个行程，每一次邂逅，都可能遇见缘分。但是需要你勇敢去尝试才行。
对我来说，此时此刻，在充满喜悦的同时，更多的是感恩之心。
感恩男生的妈妈勇敢敲窗，迈出了关键的第一步！
感恩孩子们能以开放的心态， 体谅父母的关心和疼爱！
更感恩美国名校华裔校友相亲平台这个完全免费的公益互助相亲平台，通过上百个义工的无私奉献和群管团队的卓越工作和爱心，为数千个北美华裔家庭(包括留学生家庭)编织了一个巨大的寻缘网，为孩子们找到自己的幸福提供了这么好的机会。
女儿才貌出众，从大学开始，就不乏追求者。但没有这个平台，女儿在她自己日常生活半径内，会很难遇见各方面如此契合的男友-她心目中的白马王子。
所以可以毫不夸张地说，美国名校华裔校友相亲平台才是我女儿真正的＂红娘＂。💕
真是一个奇妙无比而又非常温馨感人的故事！ 女孩妈妈讲得动容， 义工听得入神！
如此纯美的爱情，就活生生发生在咱们的平台里！
美国名校华裔校友相亲平台建立和发展近两年，不断完善服务，扩充相亲资源，最近还成功与友群展开了对接，进一步扩大了相亲资源。特别是平台富有特色的各热点地区“同城相亲”区域群，城市群系列，以及线上活动和线下孩子们＂面对面＂聚会交流活动双管其下的举措，大幅度提升了相亲交流的效率，体验和安全性。
新年将至， 让我们一起努力，期待和听见更多花开的声音！
美国名校华裔校友相亲平台是一个公益免费脱单互助平台，通过父母在微信群里的真诚交流，以及鼓励孩子参与各地线下俱乐部活动 ，从而在茫茫人海中助力子女觅得好姻缘。平台下设三大相亲群系列，涵盖所有华裔孩子。
感兴趣加入平台为孩子助缘的家长，可联系义工或已在群内的家长帮助加入。家长也可扫文后的二维码。
