The American Select Colleges ABC Alumni Dating Platform is a free platform for singles to help each other. Through sincere communication among parents in WeChat groups and encouraging young people to participate in various offline club activities across different regions, the platform assists young men and women in finding good matches in the vast sea of people.
1. Question: Do ABC students from elite colleges need matchmaking? Shouldn’t these outstanding individuals be pursued by others?
Answer: Indeed, students from elite colleges excel in many aspects, but romantic relationships differ from academic pursuits or extracurricular activities. Some children may be relatively introverted, and even for outgoing children with many friends, finding their ideal partner is not always easy. The COVID-19 pandemic has somewhat delayed and reduced children’s social interactions, and many graduates focus mainly on their careers after graduation. Additionally, their social circle at work may not be as extensive as it was during their school days. The purpose of this platform is to gather quality resources from various colleges across the United States, to bridge connections between these children and their families, provide them with more opportunities to meet and interact with the opposite sex and allow prospective in-laws to understand and communicate with each other, thereby assisting children in finding their other half sooner.
2. Question: Can children who grew up here listen to their parents when it comes to finding a partner? Can parents’ judgment be better than their children’s?
Answer: ABC students are generally independent in various aspects, including their personal romantic lives. This is their own life and choices they have to make, which others cannot replace, including parents. However, parents can communicate with their children based on their observations, beliefs, and information, providing useful advice, and giving their children more opportunities to make good choices. Regarding judgment, parents are experienced in love and marriage, having shaped their children’s personalities and preferences to some extent through their parenting philosophy and actions (the influence of the original family on children lasts a lifetime). Therefore, they may understand their children’s personalities and preferences better than anyone else. While their judgment may not always be better than their children’s, they provide another perspective that can help their children in mate selection. Whether children listen to their parents varies from family to family, but at least parents can assist in providing information and assisting in establishing initial connections.
3. Question: Who are the main service targets of the platform?
Answer: The main service targets of the platform are graduates or current students from the schools listed on the published school list, including ABC/CBC students and their families, especially those who are already working or in their senior years at school. For younger college students, the platform recommends and encourages them to make the most of campus opportunities. Campus romance is sweet and conducive to more communication and interaction. (The list of schools served by the platform will be continuously updated as the platform develops). Due to the characteristics of using Chinese WeChat tools, the current group members are mainly parents of recent graduates. Therefore, this group appears more like an “ABC Parents Matchmaking Group”. However, please remember that the ultimate service target of this group is the children, with everything centered around them. Especially when the platform has offline communication sessions for children. Children holding hands with each other is our goal!
4. Question: How was the platform established?
Answer: This platform was developed based on the MIT alumni matchmaking group. Due to the pandemic over the past three years, the social interactions of the children were vastly reduced or delayed. A group of MIT parents established the MIT alumni matchmaking group on 4/18/22. In addition to parents exchanging information in the WeChat group, they also helped children establish offline social clubs in major cities, mimicking the atmosphere of campus socializing, expanding to the M-H-Y-S-P Five Schools Group on 4/27/22. The American Select College ABC Alumni Dating Group was officially established on 6/22/22, with the number of schools expanded to 23, including medical/pharmacy/dental students. The list of schools has now increased to 100+ universities, with the addition of 8 top liberal arts colleges (LAC). Our platform has gathered thousands of Chinese families with matchmaking needs, and nearly a hundred volunteer parents supporting the services.
5. Question: What makes the American Select Colleges ABC Alumni Dating Group unique?
Answer: Our framework is designed with three parallel lines: The first line is the WeChat groups (multiple basic groups and one advanced group), where parents of graduates from about 100 schools can participate in regular matchmaking activities organized within the group, hoping to involve children through their parents. The second line consists of friendship clubs organized by students in more than ten regions, led by children themselves and not limited to any particular school, with no parental involvement in activities. The third line is online friendship clubs, primarily for children to communicate through Facebook groups, with parental coordinators providing some assistance in organization. These three lines operate in different ways, fully utilizing their respective advantages, and ultimately converge to achieve the ultimate goal of making friends and pairing up. Parents and children can choose one, two, or all three approaches.
6. Question: Why does the platform have basic groups (primary groups) and RTD groups (advanced groups)?
Answer: During the MIT alumni matchmaking group stage, it was found that many parents in the basic group were not yet prepared for matchmaking, such as when their children were still young, etc. Initially, it was planned to ask them to temporarily leave the group and come back when they were ready, but they all wanted to stay to communicate and learn more. Therefore, the RTD (Ready-To-Date) advanced group was established for parents who are already prepared. Currently, the RTD group includes children who have been promoted from all basic groups. Because RTD members go through a strict promotion process, internal communication among group members is more sincere and in-depth.
7. Question: What is “knocking on the window”? How does it work?
Answer: After deeper communication within the RTD group, if a parent is interested in a particular child, they can directly contact the parent of that child for further one-on-one communication. This is called “knocking on the window.” Knocking on the window is purely interactive between parents, and both parties must be interested in order to engage. The platform cannot guarantee a response from the other party, nor does it know who is knocking on whose window or the result of such knocking. However, the platform encourages parents who have successfully knocked on someone’s window to share their results and inspire others. Additionally, the platform does not encourage members of the basic group to knock on windows, mainly because shallow communication in the basic group makes it difficult to ensure the authenticity of information, and the content may be biased. The RTD advanced group provides deeper and broader communication opportunities, as well as ensuring the authenticity and accuracy of information.
9. Question: What are offline activities? Why are they important?
Answer: With the efforts of group leaders and volunteers in various regions, the platform currently has student-led Young Professionals Social Clubs established in major areas, with student leaders organizing regular social activities (in some cases, local volunteers or enthusiastic parents may provide logistical assistance). These activities include outings, hiking, public welfare activities, gatherings, coffee meetups, etc., which are activities that children are genuinely interested in. These activities not only increase the chances of finding a partner but also help Chinese children expand their social networks and grow together through mutual communication in work and life. The preparation status of the eleven offline club activities is as follows: (Greater DC, New York, Boston, Philadelphia, Seattle, Chicago, Bay Area, Southern California, Texas, Florida, etc.). Clubs in New York, Boston, Bay Area, Seattle, and Greater DC have completed preparations, with children in New York, Boston, and Northern California organizing multiple activities, and preparations in other areas are ongoing.
10. Question: How secure are personal information?
Answer: This matchmaking group is a completely trust-based mutual assistance-sharing platform. The security and accuracy of information are the common obligations and responsibilities of each group member. When joining the group, members confirm the platform’s requirement of absolute confidentiality. They also understand that this is an open, free mutual assistance platform, and neither the platform nor volunteers assume any legal or commercial responsibility. The platform also improves the accuracy and security of information by establishing basic groups and RTD groups. However, it cannot guarantee that the information provided by each member is 100% accurate. Members must use their own judgment to determine the sharing of information. Additionally, the platform does not require the sharing of very personal information. This can be discussed privately in one-on-one interactions after knocking on the window.
6. Question: What can I do to contribute to the platform’s development?
Answer: There are currently over a dozen groups and over a hundred volunteers working on various tasks, along with offline clubs in various locations, making the workload enormous. The healthy development of the platform relies on the dedication of each group leader and volunteer. If you are willing to be an online or offline volunteer, please contact the group leaders. Children are also encouraged to participate in offline activities in various locations. If you know parents (of the kids who graduated from the school list) who haven’t joined the group yet, please invite them to join! We hope everyone will spread the concept and service features of the platform, jointly creating a healthy and disciplined community, allowing second-generation Chinese to have more opportunities to meet each other. May children meet each other in the most beautiful moments of their lives, just in time.
The American Select Colleges ABC Alumni Dating Group is a non-profit free platform that creates opportunities for singles to meet, know, love, and stay with each other. The group now accepts the following undergraduate/graduate students from the following schools: The selection of schools by the platform is based on the school profiles, while also considering the availability of resources at the locations for developing offline friendship clubs. The initial 23 schools mainly focused on areas where the ABC population is relatively large; the current list of schools has expanded to 100+ universities. (https://tinyurl.com/Top50C), You are welcome to scan the code to join the group!
十问十答: ABC “♥️新相亲♥️”，有爹妈更放心
美国名校相亲平台是一个免费脱单互助平台，通过父母在微信群里的真诚交流，以及鼓励孩子参与各地线下俱乐部活动 ，从而在茫茫人海中助力子女觅得好姻缘。
(1) 问：名校ABC，还需要相亲？这些天之骄子都应该被人倒追吧？
确实ABC很多方面都很优秀，但两性关系不同于学业或通常意义上的课外活动(EC)。有些孩子性格相对比较内向，但即使外向的孩子，生活中有很多朋友的孩子，找到自己的意中人也并非易事。COVID疫情或多或少耽误了孩子们的交友，很多孩子毕业工作后一心扑在工作上，同时在工作单位交际面可能也没在校时广。本平台的意义是集中美国各地优质ABC资源，帮这些孩子们和他们的家庭搭个桥，让孩子们有更多机会来认识和接触ABC异性，也让准亲家们有机会相互了解和交流，助力孩子们早日找到自己的“另一半”。
(2) 问：“有爹妈更放心”？这儿长大的孩子找对象能听父母的吗？父母的眼光能比子女好吗？
ABC各方面比较独立，在个人感情生活中也是如此。这是他们自己的生活，自己要作出的人生选择，甜酸苦辣，别人不能代替，包括父母。但是父母可以根据自己的观察，理念和信息，跟孩子交流，提供有用的信息，让孩子们有更多机会自己作出好的选择。说到眼光，父母对爱情和婚姻是过来人，他们的多年育儿理念和行为也或多或少塑造了孩子的一些性格特质 (原生家庭对孩子影响是一辈子的)， 因此他们也可以说是最了解孩子个性和喜好的。他们的眼光不能说一定比孩子的好，但至少提供了另一个视角，能帮孩子择偶[牵线搭桥，保驾护航]。至于孩子能否听父母之言，每家情况都不一样。但至少父母在提供信息，牵线搭桥方面是可以助一臂之力的。
(3) 问：平台的主要服务对象是谁？
平台的主要服务对象是在目前公布的名单上学校毕业或在在校ABC/CBC和他们的家庭，特别是已经工作或者在校高年级学生。对低年级大学生，平台建议并鼓励学生尽量多利用校园机会。校园爱情是很甜蜜的，也有利于较多交流和接触。(平台服务的学校名单根据平台发展会不断更新)。由于中文微信工具的使用特点，目前群成员基本是学生家长。所以这个群看起来更象是[名校ABC家长相“亲家”群]。但请大家牢记，这个群最终的服务对象是孩子们，一切都以孩子们为中心。尤其是平台有孩子们线下交流环节。孩子们互相对眼牵手，才是我们的目标！
(4) 问：平台是怎么建立起来的？
本平台是从MIT校友相亲群的基础上发展起来的。由于三年疫情耽误了孩子们的交友，一群MIT家长于4/18/22组建了MIT校友相亲群，除了家长在微信群里交流信息之外，也帮助孩子们在几大城市建立了线下交友俱乐部，重塑校园交友的氛围，4/27/22拓展到五校(麻哈耶斯普)。
6/22/22正式成立美国名校ABC相亲群，学校扩大到23校，另加医/药/牙学生。
目前学校名单已增至100所大学，特别新增了8所顶级文理学院(LAC)。
我们平台已汇集了数千有相亲需求的华裔家庭，有近百名义工家长为大家提供自助式相亲服务。
(5) 问：美国名校ABC相亲群有什么与众不同？
答: 我们的框架设计了三条平行线路：
第一条是微信群(多个基础群和一个高级群)，大约100所学校的毕业生家长可以参与群内定期举办的相亲活动，希望由家长带动孩子。
第二条是十余个个地区的分部组织的交友俱乐部，是由孩子们牵头自己组织的，不限学校，家长不参与活动。
第三条是线上的交友俱乐部，也主要是孩子们通过Facebook group 交流，家长coordinators稍微协助组织一下。
三条线路通过不同的方式运作，充分发挥各自的优势，最后殊途同归，达到交友和配对的终极目标。家长和孩子们可以选择一条、两条，或者三管齐下。
(6) 问：为什么平台分基础群(初级群)和RTD群(高级群)?
答: 在MIT校友相亲群阶段发现基础群里不少家长还没有做好相亲准备，比如孩子年龄不大等等，原打算是请他们暂时出群，将来准备好了再进来，但是他们都希望留下来交流和了解，所以就建立了RTD高级群(Ready-To-Date)，让已经就绪的家长升级。目前RTD群汇集了从所有基础群升级的孩子。
因为RTD是通过严格程序升级的，内部群员交流会更有诚意，更深入。
(7) 问：什么是“敲窗”？怎么敲？
在RTD群内更深度交流后，有对某位孩子感兴趣的家长，可以直接联系这位孩子的家长，进行更深层一对一交流。是谓“敲窗”。敲窗纯粹是家长们之间的互动，双方都有意向才会互动。平台无法保证对方回应，也不掌握谁敲窗，以及敲窗的结果。但平台鼓励已经敲窗成功的家长分享成果，已鼓励后人。另外，平台不鼓励基础群内成员敲窗，主要原因是基础群浅层交流相对难保证资料的真实性，内容会较片面。RTD高级群提供了更深更广交流机会，也更保障资料真实性，准确性。
(8) 问：什么是线下活动？为什么它很重要？
在群主和各地义工多方努力下，平台目前已在各主要地区有学生主导成立
Young Professionals Social Club,各地线下活动由乐于奉献的学生领头羊牵头，定期组织交游活动（某些情况下，本地义工或热心的家长可能在logistics方面提供一些协助) 。这些活动有孩子们自己感兴趣的郊游，爬山，公益，聚餐，咖啡等。这是真正让孩子们互动的环节。除了增加找到恋人的机会之外，这些活动也有助于华人子弟拓展人脉，并在相互交流工作和生活中，共同成长。
十一个线下俱乐部活动准备情况：（大华府，纽约，波士顿，费城，西雅图，芝加哥，湾区，南加州，德州，Denver ）中的纽约，波士顿，湾区，西雅图, 大华府已经完成筹备工作，纽约,波士顿,北加地区孩子们各组织了多次活动，其他区正在筹备中。
线上Young Professionals Social Club
线下十一个交友俱乐部，NYC,
Bay Area, DC, LA, Philly, Seattle，
Boston ，Denver, North Caroline,
Texas and Chicago ABC social clubs，欢迎联络 our local coordinators.
(9) 问：个人资料的安全性怎么样？
本相亲群是一个完全基于群员互信的互助式分享平台。信息的安全性和准确性是每一个群员的共同义务和责任。群员入群时都确认了绝不外传的平台要求。也明白这样一个开放式，免费互助平台及义工们都不承担任何法律或商业责任。平台也通过建立基础群和RTD两级梯度，以尽量提高资料准确度和安全度。但无法保证各成员提供的信息100%真实准确。群员必须用自己的判断来确定资料分享。另外，平台并不要求分享很私人的个人情况。这些可以在敲窗之后一对一环节私下交流。
(10) 问：我能为平台发展做些什么？
平台目前十多个群，义工组超百人，加上各地的线下俱乐部，千头万绪，工作量非常大。平台的健康发展，有赖于各群主和义工们的大力奉献。如果你愿意做线上或各地线下义工，请与群主们联系。也鼓励孩子们参加各地线下活动。如果你有认识的还没入群的(在学校名单上的)家长， 请他们来入群！
希望各位将 RTD 群的理念和服务特色传播出去，共同营建一个健康而规矩的群体，让华二代有更多的机会去结识彼此，愿孩子们“在最美的时光里，刚好遇见你”🌹
美国名校ABC相亲群为公益免费平台，为单身有缘孩子们创造相识相知相爱相守的机会，本群现接受以下学校本科/ 博士毕业生：
本平台选择的名校根据学校的声誉，同时兼顾线下交友俱乐部的发展，早期的23所学校主要偏向于ABC学习和工作比较集中的地区；目前平台的学校名单已增至100所大学。(https://tinyurl.com/Top50C)，欢迎👏有缘人扫码进群。
